Baltimore Explained

I’ve been looking through the pictures of the rioting and looting in Baltimore, trying to make some sense of it, and all I’ve come up with is this. All the pictures of looters show them coming out of the stores with toilet paper. Seriously, along with whatever else, they’re all grabbing TP. All of them. We may be missing an important and critical aspect of this story. Nobody talks about it, but when you gotta go, you gotta go. And if you gotta go, you gotta have that paper. If the people in Baltimore need toilet paper so badly they’re willing to burn down their city to get it, maybe we should listen. If we can break the cycle of violence with a few multi-packs of Angel Soft, maybe that’s a price worth paying. Hey, if it stops the rioting, I’m willing to send in a roll or two. Who’s with me? ‪#‎TP4Baltimore‬‪ #‎EveryWipeIsImportant‬

Save the Christians

I recently saw a post on Facebook of a cartoon, it depicted a handful of protesters/activists/whatever holding up signs saying save this species or save that species or save this other species, while basically lamenting that no one was interested in saving the Christians. This is just one example of many with this same theme, the Endangered Christian.

Okay, here’s the thing… Christians are NOT an endangered species. There are nearly two and a half billion (that’s “billion” with a “B”) of them on the planet. There are more Christians than any other flavor of human. BY FAR. If you are Christian, you don’t get to play the oppressed minority. You ARE the majority. You ARE the culture. You ARE the dominant force in our society. You’ve won.

Need proof? Look at your money. The single most important non-religious artifact in our society, and you get to stamp the name of your God all over it. And speaking of money, we let you operate multi-billion (that’s “billion”, with a “B”) dollar industries, doing pretty much whatever you want, unregulated and TAX FREE. No one else gets that deal. No one.

Look, just because we may occasionally stop you from forcing some of your more onerous Christian beliefs on the rest of us, that does not mean that you’re endangered. No one needs to save you from the brink of extinction. If anything, we need saving FROM Christians. Too many Christians just aren’t happy unless their spreading their Christianness all over the rest of us, whether we want it or not. God, please save us from the Christians who are attempting to save us.

Seriously, you are free to do anything you like. Whatever your God requires of you, do it. But you are NOT free to require the same from the rest of us. You decide what’s right for you. Not for me. Just you. Your rights end where my life begins. This is not oppression. This is freedom. Thank God for freedom!