A Tale of a Flapper

So I’m in Ace Hardware, picking out a new “flapper” for the toilet tank (that’s the bit that always gets stuck when you have to “jiggle the handle”).

In our Ace they’re always friendly and helpful, whether you want them to be or not. This is the “country” Ace Hardware, not the “city” one, in the “city” one they’ll usually leave you alone. We live about halfway between the two, but the traffic is always lighter driving towards the country, and I’d rather deal with that even with the accompanying friendliness, than the traffic driving into Brandon on a weekend.

So anyhow, the Ace Hardware guy is helping me, and I’m letting him, even though I’m pretty certain I know exactly what I need. This is our conversation…

Ace Hardware Guy: Watch ya need to fix?

Me: Toilet.

AHW Guy: (nods approvingly)

Me: Need a new flapper.

AHW Guy: Aisle 20

(We walk back, maybe another six steps from where we were)

AHW Guy: We got lots to chose from

Me: I see that.

(The really did have a very impressive selection of flappers, probably more in one place than I’d seen before.)

AHW Guy: We got the basic “korky”. In red AND in black.

Me: What’s the difference between the red and the black.

AHW Guy: The color.

Me: Of course.

(We eventually determine the red one has greater resistance to chlorine, which all water supplies have, unless you have a well. And then only if you add chlorine yourself. This was a much longer conversation about water supply chlorination than I’ve ever had with anyone. Ever.)

AHW Guy: (proudly) We’ve even got the Flow-Master® now.

Me: Ah yes, the Flow-Master®. Good product that. (Like I know…)

AHW Guy: It’s more expensive, but worth it.

Me: Sure.

I can only assume it is the “Cadillac” of flappers. But since ours is more of a Ford Pinto of toilets, I settled for the “korky”.

The red one, not the black one, I’m not an animal.

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