Middle Ground (opinion) – Page 7

Traditional Values (Mike Huckabee)

Mike Huckabee says “If Christians affirm traditional values, we’re considered homophobic, fundamentalists, hate-mongers, and intolerant.”

Well Mike, there’s a reason for that. These “traditional values” they are affirming are all too often homophobic, fundamentalist, hateful, and intolerant.

I’m sorry Mike, but MY traditional values have to do with accepting people as they are, not judging lest I be judged, and treating others the way I would have them treat me.

Maybe if more Christians honored the traditional value of keeping their goddamned noses out of other people’s goddamned business we could get past this nonsense and all go back to eating our fried chicken in peace.

Banning Abortion and Birth Control

Okay I have to say something. Usually I try to stay apolitical, in that I reserve the right to poke fun at either side when they say or do something stupid. I do allow a certain amount of deference to the office of the president, regardless of which idiot is sitting there at the time. But I digress…

Lately there has been something of a movement among conservatives, particularly at the state level, to introduce bans on abortion, and also bans on birth control. Maybe it’s my generation, but I’ve always felt, regardless of which side of the abortion argument you are on, that birth control was the repsonsible alternative. That birth control can and should be promoted as a means of avoiding the issue in the first place, an “ounce of prevention vs a pound of cure” sort of thing.

The idea of promoting a ban on both abortion AND birth control just seems irresponsible. What possible outcome could this achieve other than an increase in the number of unwanted, abused, abandoned, and/or neglected children? This push for banning birth control disguises itself as a “family value”, but I would contend that it is anti-children. (Others have already called it out as being anti-women.) Why would any politician push for a policy that can only result in misery for children? That to me just seems like the worst sort of cruelty.

It is highly controversial, but there is one study that takes it a step further. If you assume unwanted pregnancies lead to unwanted, abused, abandoned and/or neglected children. And if you assume that those children are at higher risk for committing crime as teenagers or young adults, then one result of Roe v Wade in 1973 would be a corresponding reduction in crime 15 to 20 years later.

That drop in crime in the late 80’s and early 90’s is exactly what happened. Athough as I said, making the connection back to the availability of abortion is very controversial. Not so much because the science is tenuous (hint – all social science is tenuous), or because it requires big leaps or assumptions (it does require assumptions – they are not that big), but rather because the whole concept reaks of “social engineering” which scares the living bejeesus out of people, especially people who remember nazi germany and their “experiments” in social engineering.

Still, the data is there, it seems to be a clear correlation. People, some people, will find it hard to accept, counter-intuitive even, that abortion benefits society. And they will question at what cost. Rightly so, it is right to question the cost to the individual for any benefit to society. That aside, I am just seriously perplexed as to why there is any question at all about birth control. I defy anyone to make a reasonable argument as to how a ban on birth control could possibly be a benefit to either the individual or to society.

Happy Holidays Everyone… That’s Right, I Said HAPPY HOLIDAYS

(I’ll keep this one short and light, I promise. And there’s a joke at the end.)

I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy but… When someone says to me “Happy Holidays”, I don’t assume they are trying to insult my faith. I don’t think they are pushing some kind of liberal atheist agenda. I don’t believe they are trying to tear down the fabric of western society. I just think it’s a friendly greeting, and they are just trying to be nice.

By the same token…

I may be crazy but… When someone says to me “Merry Christmas”, I don’t believe they are trying to push their right-wing Christian agenda on me. I don’t think they are intolerant of other faiths, or are xenophobic, or that they hate the Jews. I just think it’s a friendly greeting, and they are just trying to be nice.

On the other hand…

When someone says to me “Seasons Greetings”, I think of this little cartoon I saw where these little bottles of garlic, parsley, and oregano were all saying “hi” to each other. And that makes me smile.

Merry Xmas Everyone… Yes, that’s right, I said XMAS

For all my dear Christian friends who have made an annaul tradition of getting bent this time of year about the use of the term “X-mas”, please kindly consider the following:

1. X- (the greek letter Chi) has been used in English as an accepted abbreviation for Christ for over 500 years. Chi (“X” to us) is the first letter of “Christ” as spelled in the original Greek. Just for fun, go to Google translate or Babelfish, and try translating “Christ” into Greek. As a Christian, you should recognize the Chi-rho (Xp) symbol, one of the earliest and oldest symbols of Christianity. Yes, I know crosses and Jesus-fish are all the rage now, but back in the day the Chi-rho was THE symbol for followers of Christ. That the “X-” has lost acceptance as an abbreviation for Christ is a reflection of a modern educational system with no focus on classical language, much moreso than any real or imagined atheist conspiracy to replace Jesus with algebra.

2. December 25th is the birthday of a great many deities, however Jesus Christ was not originally one of them. That we celebrate his birth on december 25th is a somewhat arbitrary choice made by the early Roman church, as they established the calendar of new Christian holy days. They could have just as easily chosen May Day or Groundhog’s Day. (Yes, really, Groundhog’s Day.) While we don’t actually know the date of His birth, we do know with some certainty that it is very unlikely it was in December. (Or May, or February, for that matter.) So the real question should be, not who’s trying to take Christ out of Christmas, but rather who put Christ into Christmas in the first place. (Believe me, that’s a much more interesting question.)

3. Almost all of the traditions of Chrismas are older than Christ. There were decorated trees, and gift-giving, and decorations, and parties, and holly, and mistletoe, and yule logs, and wreaths, and carolling, and probably eggnog, all long before Jesus Christ was born. Putting Christ into Christmas really didn’t change it all that much. Just the name really, and it gave us some new songs to sing. I suspect taking him out of it wouldn’t really change it that much either. These old traditions, with or without their Christian overlay, are important – they are our connection with our past. If we don’t know where they came from, if we don’t understand our own traditions, they are no longer meaningful to us. They become nothing more than pointless, mindless ritual.

4. A significant number of Christans to this day do not celebrate Christmas. Certainly no Christians prior to the Roman Emperor Constantine celebrated Christ’s birthday, on December 25th or any other day. The pilgrims who came here, nearly died, and in the process invented Thanksgiving, did not celebrate Christmas. Today our modern view of the Christmas tradition is more shaped by Dickens and Coca-Cola than by anything from the Bible. The New Testament tells a great deal about the activities of the early apostles, and the early (pre-Roman) churches they served, in the years and decades following the death of Christ. Missing from the scripture is any mention of any remembrance or celebration of the birth of Christ. From a dogmatic point of view, the birth, aside from being to a virgin, is nearly inconsequential. It is the death and ressurection of Christ that is the central tenant upon which Christainity is founded. (This is why a magic bunny hides eggs for the kiddies on Easter.)

5. Two out of three people on the planet are not Christian. Nearly half of these non-Christians are Muslim, the other half are mostly Hindu or Buddhist. None of them care what you do with the “X” in Christmas. This great atheist conspiracy you are concerned about, well the number of atheists in the world is amazingly tiny, and most of them don’t care about your “X” either. The ones that do care, they ONLY care in the context of where a government agency is involved in the establishment of religion. You need to understand this – Using government resources to establish religious belief is forbidden by the most holy of their sacred texts, which they call the First Admendment. Aside from that, what you do as a private citizen, or as a business, or as an organization, with respect to Christmas, honestly they don’t give a fuck. In any case, you will NEVER hear a true atheist saying “Merry Xmas”. Their traditional greeting is “Happy Holidays” or “Seasons Greetings”. NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY: Just because someone says “Happy Holidays” or “Seasons Greetings” does NOT automatically mean they are an atheist. More than likely it means they are trying to be friendly and inclusive to the two thirds of people on the planet who are not Christians. Despite appearances to the contrary, being Christian does not prohibit one from being friendly and inclusive.

Now… For all my dear non-Christian friends out there, who have to put up with this nonsense every year: Sorry, and Happy Holidays!