The Southern Class System

Recent comments on the seeming inequity of how the “Stand Your Ground” law is applied in Florida have been popping up all over the Internet. Some seem confused or surprised by the results, but to me it seemed a perfectly logical, albeit inherently unfair, and frequently sad, outcome.

What people are failing to recognize is this: Even though we like to think of ourselves as a “classless” society, and that we are all equal under the law, the southern class system, as old as the South itself, still plays a large role in everyday life in much of Florida. This is no more true anywhere than in the way criminal law is applied in our courts.

I suppose I’ve spent so much time living here that I just sort of assumed everyone knew how things really worked, but if you don’t understand the southern class system, I imagine much of what happens in the Florida courts will be a complete mystery to you.

Please understand – I do NOT advocate this class system, I would like very much for it to become a thing of the past. I am documenting it here so that we can all recognize it for what it is – and if we see it, and know it, and become aware of it, we can work to remove it, and maybe one day realize our ideals of true equality under the law.

So, this is meant to educate, not to offend. Apologies in advance to any of you who don’t know me or understand this concept. Anyhow, it goes something like this.


The Southern Class System

White Males
Hunting Dogs
White Women
English Speaking Foreigners (Brits, Aussies, etc)
Other Proper Foreigners (Germans, Swiss, etc)
Irishmen, Italians, and Poles
Other Farm Animals
Chinamen and Mexicans
Dark-skinned people who aren’t really Black Folk
Black Folk
Ticks, Fleas, and other Parasites
The Devil Himself
Carpet-Baggers (a specific type of Northerner)

1. You may notice Gays are not included, they would be classified under “Frenchmen”.
2. Jews do not require a separate classification, most of them are already “Northerners” anyway.
3. After 1945 change “Carpet-Baggers” to “Commie Pinkos”.